When Even The New Normal Feels Unfamiliar? We Need To Regroup.
It’s day 515 of a deeply troubling administration and yet another news story feels like the one that might break us all. We scroll, we flick, we retweet and we start to question our own ability to process what is happening. Each day feels like a new horror as home and abroad’s far right policies begin to feel like the increasing presence of a world fascism we told ourselves existed only in the past. The current footage of traumatised children crying out in cages after the government sanctioned separation of undocumented child migrants from parents has, quite rightly, flooded every news outlet and social media platform. It is visible every place we look.
While commentators urge us not to feel numb and calls to action fill our personal timelines, the pressure to act is intense and unrelenting. Anger is visible and a perfectly reasonable response to the devastating impact immigration policies are having on human beings lives. However, what is becoming painfully clear is that with an increasingly politically charged social media, people are turning away. Feelings of despair, impotence and distrust are coupling with compassion fatigue in a way that will inevitably impact turn out at the ballot boxes. Stepping away from social media and deleting apps restores a temporary feeling of control.
Emotions Only Fuel Us When We Can Control Them
Ask anyone who has ever truly lost their temper and they will describe a dulling of senses, a loss of rational thought and inability to discriminate between a friend and an enemy. Imagine that anger now rising up as we venture online, fire fueling more fire into an anger band wagoning that doesn't discriminate as it burns. No wonder social media feels hostile.
Similarly grief, a perfectly reasonable emotion to feel as children weep for their parents, can become all consuming. Grief as an emotion is paralysing, it relies on feeling powerless to change or loss. Neither anger or grief are easy feelings to wrestle with and seeing them so visibly presented triggers our own guilty responses as we struggle with our discomfort in these emotions. We feel bad for our own needs and inadequacies, we feel shame.
For many activists, politicians and agitators, anger is the fuel they need to get things done. It makes them sharp, laser focused and they take that to their campaigns. However, for the average person scrolling through their Twitter feed, without that cause to direct their rage, the feelings of impotence and despair creep in. This position was powerfully summarised by Tim Grierson on Twitter two days ago, “ Being angry all the time is exhausting and corrosive. Not being angry feels morally irresponsible.” Our feelings of impotence comes from the knowledge that to switch off is a privilege many simply don’t have so we must go on, feeling and hurting as we go.
The Need For Self Care
Before hitting this point of political burnout, a mindful retreat might be wise. Health and mental wellness play a huge role in our ability to identify safe and meaningful actions for ourselves and it’s hard for anyone to be truly emphatic who has burnt out on high emotions. Sometimes going to work, paying a bill and existing in spite of it all is our act of resistance. In the face of constant terror, not succumbing to and accepting the lies in common rhetoric is resisting enough when it is that or lose our mental health.
Ultimately, when we rejoin the arena, we need to know that a better world is possible.
Regrouping is not to be ridiculed or downplayed. Nor is it to be assumed that we stop a forward momentum when we are taking that time. Holding space to really examine our feelings about an issue is pivotal to our ability to commit to seeing it through. We do not need to add our voice to every breaking news story, there are many already doing that who are often better positioned to do so. What we do need to know is how we can support. Stepping out from the incredible amount of noise generated online to read a blog post, enjoy a podcast or just click around the latest You Tube offerings might be just the warming treat that clicks us back into ourselves and helps us trust who we are again.
What We Are Fighting For
Ultimately, when we rejoin the arena, we need to know that a better world is possible. Widely circulated traumatic images may bring home the horror we need to challenge our elected leaders and hold them accountable. However, taking on every emotion we feel about this till our distress takes over is not a strong position to fight from. If in that time out from the world we’ve enjoyed Jonathon grooming a bemused fireman in Queer Eye? So be it. A world in which frivolity is encouraged seems a far better one than children weeping in cages.
Take time out for that Outfit of the Day and trust that when you come back, you’ll have new energy with which to contribute. Things work better when we are receptive and right now, we need to be listening very hard to those we are failing. Once we fully understand what we have witnessed, we can move forward. And we must move forward.
